1. |
Sober and Alone
03:52
|
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I woke up in a cold sweat and now I'm out in the cold buying cigarettes and the bus is just one thing on the list of important shit that I missed
I got stoned while my dad was in the hospital
I never called home
Doesn't matter cause one day he'll be dead and I'll be old and I'll be dead when all is told but at least that's better than being sober and alone
I'm gonna ruin everything forever cause that's just who i am and no one can ever help me not even my closest friends
I'm gonna be alone forever by the doing of my own hand
all the shitty things I've done
all the stupid things I've said
so ill get stoned every night
and say it makes me feel alive
but deep down i know
i'm too fucking scared to die
i wanna outlive my children
lay them in their graves
look out the kitchen window
the headstones go on for days
'i wanna hold a hundred dying lovers
a thousand gray haired friends
take a million little pills to stave off my pathetic end
i'll work retail forever
and smoke my cigarettes
fuck it
i'll be happy if that's the best that i can get
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2. |
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this town is filled with ghosts drifting like clouds of smoke
through the same old empty spaces
old friends with older eyes
specters with familiar faces
spirits drift through the walls
remind me i don't belong
fill the grave postpone the service cut me loose don't be so nervous
i still recall all the time i spent inside
their cars and arms their hearts and homes when i felt left alone
complacent now i don't wonder how i sank through the undertow
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3. |
Seeking Justice
02:48
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all i've got on my mind is watching mic cage movies in my parents' basement with you
it's the only thing that's made me smile or made me laugh in the past couple months
the past couple weeks have been a piece of shit
drive my golf cart behind the range for a cigarette
i ash it out after just one puff I'm fucking ashamed and the only one to blame
and i breathe deeply
one more summer and i'm quitting this job
i said it last year
maybe i'll mean it this year
maybe next summer get a job and an apartment in the outskirts of poughkeepsie
maybe pretend a career in academics is the right path for me
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4. |
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past the berkshires and up into
the greens that stretch into the sky
i'll sit atop and wonder why you're gone.
sun comes up and
falls back down but
since you fell how can you expect me to rise?
i've come to accept it
i did except this:
this'll plague me
did you hate me?
did you remember me as you blacked out?
a neighbor
and a friend
lost.
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5. |
Completely Cracked
02:57
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i think we established that i'm not okay
i think that's safe to say
my chest beats fast and i have a heart attack
don't ask me to explain
going broke in a college town
i've been up since four reading funeral sounds
and at about three "i'll start to hate me"
said the boy who once believed in hope eternally but
i'm moving on to the next try
apprehension's expected of me
but reality is inching up with every melody attached to
my name
i'll sit back set neuroses to flame while you're asking stupid questions like:
"what would the neighbors think?"
I'll try to fix myself but i'm still cracking
i'll try to help myself but you can't change me
I can't change me
I tried to kill myself but wait...
no...
look...
please look?
i've changed.
see?
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6. |
||||
i don't owe you an apology
for what you said to me
you don't deserve my apology for listening to me
and i'm going to bed
with your words in my mouth
and my lip split open
with your words in my mouth
and (your) blood on my chest
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7. |
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i wonder if the shirt i gave you
still smells like my cigarettes
i wonder if you'll ever find the sweater
i thought i'd never see again
i dwell on these little thoughts cause it's the best way to forget the more important things and the words i know i should have said
i try to find some way wherein it's both our faults
i don't think that i have the strength yet
to take the blame for it all i thought i needed to be better without you
it's taken eight months, bitter and cold
couldn't give a shit about the stars at night
and that the cigarettes i used to love don't fucking taste right
i can't believe it took me this long to figure out why
i used to wish you'd get over it so i could get back to bed
but now i wish i could own up to all the things i said
i should have never pretended everything was never meant
cause i still miss the things i can't forget
you took me by the hand in both of yours
you said you understand you used to bite yours too
i knew then that you felt love for me the way i wanted you to.
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8. |
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"could be better forever" on repeat
and I think it might be true
I "never saw it coming" being better without you
I still smoke alone at the spot I return to
I still bite my nails all the goddamn time
I might not be better forever
but tonight at least I think
tonight I'm fine
I think I'm coming down from the speed
my body aches and I
cant make sense of all of me
the face in the mirror
much more gaunt than it used to be
and i think i'm gonna pass out'
and i think i'm gonna puke
but in the end
i'm doing my best to pull through
and i've been listening to milkshakes
and i've been finding better people
and i'm pretty sure since moving north i'm in a better state
but these massachusetts winters
get pretty fucking cold
still i'm singing shitty emo
and screaming
FUCK THE 860
it's snowing outside but
tonight i'll be drinking indoors
with my friends
there's a pain in my throat and it won't go away
and I've found myself getting stoned every day
i wrote down my reasons to freeze to death
but now that notebook's in somebody's basement
forgotten, and collecting dust
"could be better forever" on repeat
and I think it might be true
I "never saw it coming" being better without you
I still smoke alone at the spot I return to
I still bite my nails all the goddamn time
I might not be better forever
but tonight at least I think
tonight I'm fine
TRY NOT TO HATE ME
(half a pack is not enough to get me through the week
tonight i'll be bumming cigs
we'll be in parking lots
as night fades into dawn
but today i'll be just fine)
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Somebody's Basement Wethersfield, Connecticut
somebody's basement was a band consisting of jack brannigan, chris nicastro, and mike cantin.
2012-2014
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